Negotiations are a part of everyday life. We negotiate with other people at home, at work, at the shops, and at play. Often we aren't even aware of it as it's just a natural part of our interaction with others. Negotiations can cover a whole range of different situations ranging from discussing who will pickup the kids from school to trying to reach agreement on international business deals.
Irrespective of the situation, the same general principles apply. Here are some things to think about and some tips for how to negotiate your way to a solution:
Understand The Situation
Be clear about the situation that you are trying to negotiate. What is your position and what is the position of the other party? It may seem like common-sense but a lot of problems start from a lack of understanding about what is being negotiated and discussed.
The Problems
Determine what the problems or differences are. What is blocking you from solving the problems that separate you? Knowing the problem is halfway towards being able to solve it.
Use The Same Language
Make sure you're speaking the same language and genuinely communicating. Everyone uses different words or terminology to explain things. Don't presume that everyone thinks and communicates the same way as you do.
Actively Listen
The biggest tip I could give anyone trying to negotiate or resolve a conflict is to actually make sure that both parties are listening to the other. Talking is easy but listening is hard. It is common for people to talk consistently in an attempt to win an argument or get their point across. Often all the talking actually gets in the way of really communicating. Also keep in mind that just because someone has stopped talking doesn't mean that they are really listening to what you have to say - sometimes they are just thinking of what they are going to say next. Make sure that person isn't you.
Remove The Emotion
It is easy to get frustrated or angry if you aren't getting a situation resolved, however emotion only makes genuine communication harder to achieve. Try to stay calm and think about what outcomes you are working towards.
Consider The Other Side
Try to understand the other persons position. You don't have to like it, and you certainly don't have to agree with it, but at least try to understand their position and why they have taken it.
Is There A Win-Win ?
The term “win-win” has become a bit of a business cliché but you should at least keep this principle in mind. Ideally you want to develop a situation where both parties get something from the negotiated outcome. This might not be possible of course but genuine negotiations should at least be based on attempting to find a positive aspect for both parties.
Seek A Solution
It is often impossible to find a solution that both parties will be happy with or at least willing to accept. Deal with it, try your best to negotiate a solution, and then move forward. Negotiations are part of our everyday life but we shouldn't let them control us or our future.
