A is for Action - freedom, adaptability, spontaneity, passion, excitement, opportunity, entertainer, crisis management, reality-based problem solving, competition, negotiation. At their best, A's are risk takers, natural entrepreneurs, and lovers of beauty and ready to take advantage of opportunity. At their worst, they are impatient, disruptive, controlling and domineering. Their time frame is the future, since their attention span is brief and they are already looking ahead to the next moment. A's want to get straight to the bottom line, because time is important and their high energy cannot be restrained for long. Approximately 38% of people are A's.
R is for Relationship -- people, emotions, causes, romance, animals, communing with nature, diplomacy, ethics, ideals, cooperation, personal growth, communication, building rapport, empathy, harmony. At their best, R's are enthusiastic, involved and supportive, focused on the greater good, always there for the people. At their worst, they personalize too much, may ignore reality in favor of the dream, and lose sight of details when looking for the big picture. Their time frame is the present, since face-to-face actions take place in the here and now. R's like metaphors and value empowerment. Approximately 12% of people are R's.
- Where do your core values lie? Can you find yourself using this assessment tool?
Part II: Framing Communication Using Assessment Tools
1. Personality Assessment Evaluation: Profiling
Using yourself as a template, create a profile of yourself based upon the way you fit into the criteria in Part 1. Keep in mind that no one precisely fits any model or pattern, and that at any time we are a composite of more than one type or style. However, there tend to be some indicators that one type or another predominates, and that is the one we use for assessment purposes. The purpose of profiling is not to pigeonhole or label, although it may seem that way at first. Profiling is a tool to be used for observing patterns of behavior. By observing patterns, we can devise strategies that we can use to achieve goals. Our goal with profiling behavior in this way is to be able to recognize differences so that we can implement the right strategies to create understanding. Through understanding, we can create cooperation.
Ask yourself the following questions, writing the answers in a list:
- Are you an extrovert or an introvert?
- Do you assimilate information literally or inferentially (or both ways)?
- In your behavior, are you an Emotional or a Physical?
- With your body language, do you convey confidence or shyness?
- With your body language, do you convey a desire to connect or to maintain distance?
- Using the Core Values assessment for personality type, what is your dominant personality type?
- Using the Core Values assessment for personality type, what is your subordinate personality type?
Exercise 1: Now that you have estimated your own traits, do the same for someone else. Do not discuss this with the other person beforehand. After you have made your assessment, compare your results to your test subject's own assessment.
With practice, you will be able to make on-the-spot assessments when you are in front of clients or colleagues based upon what you are now able to observe while you are listening. You may think of leading questions to ask that will give you more insights into the personality and traits of the person with whom you are working.
Once you have the necessary insights, you can then use the information to build rapport with the client or your colleague. It is important that you listen and observe while you are in the presence of your client, since what you observe is what you will need to really communicate with the client, targeting his core values, reading his body language, understanding his words and watching for subtle changes in the way her is responding to the discussion.
2. Building Rapport
Rapport is a process of responsiveness, not one of “liking”. You do not have to like your client to build a rapport with him. Your position with respect to your client is one of service, and part of service is to be able to establish enough trust so that the work can proceed. By using a system that allows you to quickly evaluate how your client processes information, which values drive his decision-making, and whether he is openly expressive or tacit and reserved, lets you get to the basis of the problem or issue and assure a more efficient exchange of information. Now you know how to talk to him and you know how to better interpret his words when he talks to you.
The key to building rapport is a technique called matching and mirroring. Often we do this unconsciously when we are accordant with someone we like, but it is not automatic when we are in a situation with people we do not know or do not like. When we match and mirror, we match the pace of our speech, our breathing, and our body movements, to the person before us. We match the tone and volume of our voice, the type of words we use, the rate at which we blink, our posture, our gestures, and our associations.
