For an example, say you have an interview at, let's say Wendy's. Well, you should have your “résumé” handy. Yes, that's right a resume for Wendy's (or any job that would not require one.)
How should you write a resume? I have a computer program that does it for me. Just answer a few questions and boom its there. Just don't forget, don't tell the employer anything they need to know. Just be sure the resume looks good.
Now, all employers love to shake your hand. You should cough right before extending your hand. Rubbing your nose is a good one too. You should make sure you get your cough down. This will come in very handy.
Now for the questions. The employer will most likely say some thing like, “I am Bob. How are you?” You should say, my name is “Mr. Xiong” you know use your last name. When the employer is asking an important question, give a good hard cough, every time! He will most likely ask if you would like some water. You should say, “no thanks I drank a lot before I came. But I could use the bathroom.”
Now, instead of coughing, begin to ask for bathroom brakes constantly.
You should always act over qualified for the job! You know when the employer ask, “why do you want to work here?” you should come back with something like, “I could be programming computers. However, I feel like I should start from the bottom and work my way up. Like you, yourself is doing.”
Or you could take another approach. You could turn the questions around on the employer. Say he ask, “Why do you want to work here?” you should say “Why would you want to work here?” If he answers you should just say, “Ok then.”
I doubt your interview would go any farther. However, if it does, just constantly start nodding off. I am sure that will do it!
