Listen up boys and girls; I want to share the worst interview experience of my life. Its been eight years since this debacle occurred and it still gets laughs and gasps when I tell it!
It was May of 1999 when I decided that I needed a change from my terribly demanding job. I was working at a local finance company and had grown tired with the never-ending “sell, sell, sell” that had BECOME my life. It was in the Sunday paper that I discovered the advertisement that led me on this journey. It was located in the “customer service” section. The ad read: “Laid back, friendly office, seeking receptionist for lighting company. Heavy phones, light filing and typing”. That sounded like it was right up my alley…so, I faxed my resume to them and kept my fingers crossed.
About a week later I got a call from, let's call her, Ms Nasty. I pressed my best interview suit, printed out a good copy of my resume and was on my way! When I got there I liked what I saw. It seemed like a nice enough office; with nice enough people…but something seemed different...I just couldn't put my finger on it. After a few moments it dawned on me. I was the only non-oriental in the whole building! Everyone I saw while waiting was oriental. All I heard was Chinese being spoken. I knew this wasn't going to be good, as I didn't speak the language that overtly seemed to be a requirement.
After about 10 minutes of waiting I got a bit antsy. I started to get a feeling…just a gut a feeling that this was going to be a colossal waste of time. 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 40 minutes passed, and still no one came out to me. Just as I picked up my bag to leave, a young Chinese man came running over to me with a clipboard in his hands. As I glanced down at what he was handing me, I realized that it was a 50-question math test! I looked at the young man and asked him why I had to take a math test for a reception job. The young man just looked at me, smiled dumbly, bowed, and scurried away.
I looked at the horrible calculus and algebra that was mocking me on the pages in my hand and decided to plod forward. Now I have to tell all of you that math is most definitely not my strongest suit. I can pass any test you give me…IF you allow me time to study. There was no way that I was going to pass this test. Oh yes, this was going to be a bloodbath.
Well, I took the test, answered as best I could, and fought the urge to run away. After about an hour and 20 minutes of waiting in the reception area, Ms Nasty finally made an appearance. I knew immediately that I was gazing into the eyes of evil.
Ms Nasty took me into her office and offered me a seat. She sat in her chair and stared at me. There we sat, motionless, staring into each others eyes, for about 30 seconds. I opted to break the uncomfortable silence by smiling and telling her that I didn't think I did very well on her “little test”. Ms Nasty looked at the document in her right hand, looked back at me, and said in the coldest voice I have ever heard “Your damn straight you didn't do well…did you even finish high school”?
I was in complete shock. I didn't even know what to say. How do you respond to something like that? I had no idea. I giggled a bit as I turned beet red and informed Ms Nasty that I had indeed finished high school, but unfortunately math was not my best subject. Ms Nasty laughed and flung my test on her table. She sat forward in her leather chair and said “You can't even do simple math, why would you come here and waste all our time like this. You should know that any company of stature would frown upon hiring a academic failure” She leaned back in her chair, folded her hands on her lap and said “I simply cannot imagine how you managed to get a job in a bank. Who did you know”?
I sat there and absorbed everything Ms Nasty said, my jaw hanging open in disbelief at this point. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do, I was frozen to my chair. Ms Nasty stared at frozen face and rolled her eyes at me. She slammed her palm on the desk and screamed “HELLLLLLOOO, is anyone in there, how about answering me”?!
