Most of us like to talk but to listen? Well that's entirely another story. Williams James once said, "There is no greater lie than a truth misunderstood." Listening doesn't come naturally; it is an acquired skill, one that is acquired only through deliberate effort.
In their book, saving your marriage before it starts; Doctors Les and Leslie parrot said "communication is the lifeblood of marriage." Several years ago they attended a marriage enriched seminar with other couples. And at the end of the seminar, they asked the other couples what they found most helping about the seminar.
Without exception, all the couples said they were help most by the discussion that dealt with communication. Communication is communication, whether in a marriage or corporation setting, and the basic principle holds true.
The more effective communication is, the more effective relationship become. Business experts have come to the conclusion that is the inability to communicate strategies and not necessarily a lack of strategies that is the major reasons business organizations fail. It has been said that listening is the "is the cornerstone for all communication." in the work place as in other places, honest listening can sometimes be enormously painful, but if you are willing to listen with an open mind the exercise leads you out of self-centeredness. You may not agree with the things you have heard, but you will be forced to reconsider your attitudes. It starts down the road toward the development of a wholesome relationship at work.
The discipline of listening will surely be worth all the pain and trouble it caused you. You may even experience a sense of freedom, knowing you have broken loose from your pride, fear, and self centeredness.
Why Is It So Difficult To Be A Good Listener?
While we almost never want to admit it, the truth is that we aren't always interested I listening.
Many of us filter the things other people say to us through our own prejudices, opinions and feelings; we find it difficult to listen because we second-guess other people. Most managers often do this by refusing to allow partner to put a "period" at the end a sentence. The author of the proverbs exposed the flaw of second guessing when he wrote "he who answers before listening -that is his folly and his shame." It doesn't make sense taking decision before knowing the facts.
Most of us fail to listen because we think we might be threatened by what we hear. In business life, we often hear other people's suggestion for a change; we think it will somehow erode our individual liberty. Worse yet, we fear the loose of control. Sometimes, we think, "if I really listen to my colleague, my worse fault will be exposed."
If you don't listen to your subordinates are effectively saying that you don't want to know how they think or feel. It is an indication of your lack of care and concern. It represents a refusal to display a common decency and respect toward the people you promised to "provide an enabling work environment for."
Why Do You Need To Practice The Act of Listening?
- To show respect to those who work with or for you.
- To meet your own basic needs. Maybe the second reason seems a bit stretched at first glance, but consider the thoughts of Dr. Williams Glasser; he said, "At all times in our lives we must have at least one person who cares about us and who we care for ourselves. If we do not have this essential person, we will not be able to fulfill our basic needs (goals)."
Dear managers, in summary, listening is vital to the development of an impactful relationship with the person who helps you meet your goals.
Good writing.
Listening is also very useful in team building, as I had experiencing from high turn over in my team, and just by listen to the team, we can reduce the high turn over to high retention without increasing salary.
Just sharing my thought.
cheers/janung