Being a new manager can be daunting, perhaps, in time, you will read many learned tomes on business administration but, now, at the start of your new career, just acquiring some circus skills will ensure you start well and avoid the obvious pitfalls.
I bet you didn't think you needed juggling skills when you were promoted to a management position.
Perhaps you needed to remind a friend that you were waiting for their overdue report and when you did they became huffy and cool towards you. You could almost hear her saying "she used to be my friend, now she"s up herself.'
So you retreat into your shell/office and miserably stare at the computer screen. You worked hard for your promotion, you worked hard at your friendship too, where is it written that you can't have both?
You can have them both but you need to mentally change gear often. Think of giving orders as first gear and friendship as fifth gear, you can't drive a car in both at the same time. Giving orders and friendship are diametrically opposed so you have to actively keep them apart from each other, just like juggling.
Put yourself in your friend's position (for good measure let us assume she is a little envious of your promotion) and she receives the following email from you:
Jane,
I need your report ASAP please
Penny
How would that feel? Now try this one:
Jane,
Me wearing my business hat - I need your report ASAP please.
B, hat off and friendship hat on: How about a drink after work, usual place, 6pm?
Penny
See the difference?
Surely, you say, your friends are not that sensitive? Believe me they are and so are you. It is only a conscious effort the first few times then it becomes a habit. Your friends will cotton on too and use it back to you. They will be grateful you have shown them the path through the minefield.
This separation, juggling skill is called for with a vengeance when change stalks the office. Perhaps your department's immediate superior changes, its part of the human condition that we resist change, are scared of it and what it may bring. There might be mumbles and grumbles within the department. Hold your fire and get your staff to hold theirs. Don't judge the new boss without giving him/her a fair chance.
Remember, those involved in office politics like to gather followers so you juggle some more. You don't want to be branded a Mr. Jones person when Mr. Jones is ousted and Ms Brown takes over. Far better to be known as your own person, good at your job, whoever's at the top.
Help - there is conflict in your department. That's great! Am I mad? No, if conflict is handled positively it's a great team-building tool. Again you need to employ separation (juggling) skills.
- Identify the conflict. How have you contributed to it? How has he/she or they? What is the difference between those in conflict and their behaviour? In other words don't identify people only by their negative behaviour in a conflict.
- Focus on individual and shared needs and goals.
- Separate the issues.
- Start with the easiest to resolve. That way you build up agreements and therefore a will to solve the other more difficult sticking points. It also establishes a "we" rather than a "you versus me" climate that builds trust.
- When the conflict has been resolved get the parties to agree on steps or ways to improve the relationship to prevent or to more easily and quickly deal with future conflict.
Circus acrobats have a well-honed sense of balance and timing. Imagine walking a tightrope without a sense of balance or swinging through the air on a flying trapeze, in order to catch your partner before he/she plunges to their death, if you don't have an acute sense of split second timing.
Managers Need Balance And Timing Just As Keenly
Take balance, it's a bad manager who leads a lop-sided life, who spends fifteen to sixteen hours a day at work. That doesn't leave much per day to eat, sleep, love, exercise, have fun and stimulate the other lobes of the brain with books and movies. Become obsessed with your work and you bring nothing to your role as a manager except time and diligence. Do that and you also endanger your personal relationships which leads to unhappiness and an unhappy manager cannot be a good manager.
Your job is finite. No matter how exciting and interesting you find it when you begin in three or four years time you will be looking for new challenges. I hope you don't regard your relationships as "disposable" as your work?!
