Of all of the phrases that are pointless, meaningless and overused, "going forward" really is the highest ranker. Initially, it came in as a substitute for "in the future," referring to plans to progress projects, etc. Of course, it's not really about going forward in any sense other than chronologically, because much corporate activity is about dressing up the same carp to look different. Never mind the fact it still exudes the same aroma of fish. Why "going forward" has gained such popularity is beyond me. Why not say "in the future" which has the same number of syllables, or something meaningful dependent on the context its being used? Time was when context mattered. But going forward has gone viral. It's become the "erm" of the corporate world. It's a phrase, a sentence and a full stop in itself. “We'll book a telecon to discuss it going forward.” “Yeah, book me in on my diary going forward.” As such, it's become a cliché. More than that, its ubiquitous use has stripped it of any meaning.
Having heard the phrase used in interviews on the news recently, it appears that "going forward" has actually seeped into the real world.

Reinventing the Wheel

Reinventing the wheel is something that no sensible person would attempt. And most corporate bods are sensible enough to realise this. And not reinventing the wheel is something you'll find managers bragging about. It's a new approach, but they're not trying to reinvent the wheel. Having said that....

Avoid Fillers

 

People pause and hesitate in conversation all the time. Sometimes it's because they're struggling for the right word. Sometimes it's simply out of habit. In linguistics, vocalised hesitations are referred to as "fillers." According to Michael Larcombe writing in New Scientist in 1995, "silence is often construed as a signal that the current speaker is ready to give up his or her turn. So, if we wish to continue our speaking turn, we often need to fill the silences with a sound to show that we intend to carry on speaking." But there probably aren't many linguistic experts in the corporate world, which is why when call centre staff are trained, they are instructed to avoid "foghorning." This is presumably because protracted "eeeeer" sounds are a little like foghorns. Ok. But it's also perhaps unsurprising that speakers of different languages use different sounds as fillers, which renders the term meaningless when used in training notes for staff in call centres based in India. Imperialism - or unfathomable ignorance - remains rife.

It's On My Radar

A statement you'll hear countless times when travelling by train within earshot of a corporate cock is, “Yeah, yeah, it's on my radar...” A favourite of the inept and those who prefer to look busy rather than actually doing anything.

Car-Park That

 

I suspect that most normal people consider a car-park to be a large flat place where drivers park cars. The clue's in the name, really. But if someone says they're going to "car-park that" during a meeting, it's probably not a good sign. On the surface, it's

Put It On Ice

To me, a freezer is a domestic appliance that keeps foodstuffs cold, thus preserving them. The principle is extended in the business world to refer to keeping an idea fresh but inactive. Or something. A variation of the real-world term whereby something such as a project is put "on ice," putting it in the freezer is much snappier and inventive, and provides a neat alternative to car-parking, or a "cooler" alternative to the back burner.

Be Progressive

 

The corporate world is big on buzzwords. Nevermind if they're meaningful or used sincerely. Image is everything. Substance is for other people to worry about. Yes, the box is empty, but it looks nice from the outside, so people are going to be happy to pay through the nose for it. And they're supposed to be thinking outside the box anyway, so what does it matter what's inside? Progressive is one such buzzword. Companies like to appear "progressive" - whatever that means. As far as I can tell, it means they've found new ways of screwing people over and making as much profit as possible for delivering the minimum of service or product they can get away with.

High-Level Stuff

High Level - serves to reinforce the us and them division between managers and the chairpounders who aren't important enough or savvy enough to understand what the upper echelons of an organisation discuss behind closed doors. The meeting's all about high-level stuff... we'll break it down and roll it out to staff once we've fully digested the implications of the implementing the strategy moving forward. What they really mean is that because they don;t actually do the work, they haven't got a clue, and so talk about things broadly and vaguely with no idea of whether or not it's physically possible. So, "we need to make a saving in this area of £6.2M. if we reduce the staffing levels by 60% that should do it." Yeah, but the work volume's still there. But that's not for the people on the shop floor whose jobs are on the line to worry about, because it's high level. The penpushing proles wouldn't understand.

Pushing the Envelope

The implications of pushing the envelope sound very like passing the buck. But no, It's going beyond the established boundaries. So why not pushing the boundaries or parameters rather than some meaningless metaphorical envelope?

Knowledge is Power

Sometimes there just isn't a carp metaphor or catchphrase that fits the bill. I've overheard managers on phone calls, in telecons or even in meetings foundering for a phrase that sounds impressive and serves to cover the fact they haven't a clue what they're talking about. “yeah, yeah, I've not really got so far going forward on this one, it's got a lot of chefs on it and I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. I'm still trying to capture down the soft knowledge, and it's on my radar...”

But why? Knowledge is power. If you know the code, are privy to the important, "key concepts" you can speak in a manner that sets you apart from the plebs, the drones on the bottom rungs, and those who aren't in the world of business. And in doing so, it's possible to demonstrate that knowledge and radiate signals that you therefore have the power. So, remember and use these phrases in interviews, in meetings, or loudly while loitering at the coffee machine and you'll go far.

Sure, an official economic depression requires two consecutive quarters with negative growth numbers. We haven't quite gotten there yet, but there's plenty of other signs out there. If only some of our public officials would admit there may be an issue on the horizon instead of telling everyone that things are fine, or only slightly bad but will recover in a few short months. Let's take a quick look at those signs, shall we?

1. Retail Stores Closing

Stores come and stores go, especially when they're little one-off boutiques that just didn't have the right stuff or location to make it. But these aren't little boutiques. Both The Bombay Company and Kirkland's here in the Dallas area have closed their doors. The Bombay Company for sure has closed up shop and is no more. KB Toys has closed it's doors in the malls around here. A mall toy store for crying out loud! One thing people are always willing to buy is toys for their children, and now toy stores are closing up shop because they can't make any money. Even The Sharper Image, a toy store for adults, is on shaky ground. They haven't closed up shop yet, but they've stopped accepting already purchased gift cards. If they don't find help, they may go back to catalog only sales.

2. Precious Metals

Gold is hovering near $1000 an ounce, and silver has reached $20 per ounce. These prices haven't been seen since the last "mild" recession back in the 80's. Silver alone has had a 33% price increase since the beginning of the year. If that's not enough, take a look at eBay and some of the other auction sites. More and more silver is being dumped as people are trying to make their money on it while they can. Many people are trying to undercut the price so they can turn around and sell it for melt value (which is up to 20% less than it's real value since you have to pay the melter). Older coins are going for outrageous amounts at times. Not because they're rare, but because people think that they can afford to buy some old silver dimes and quarters so that they can have a stockpile when things crash. Sadly, they'd do better overall by buying sterling flatware, but that's another story...

3. Traffic

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've noticed an actual decrease in rush hour traffic lately. It's not enough to make the commute a breeze, but a 30 minute trip now only takes 25 minutes. Point your fingers at the price of gas all you want. I don't buy that excuse. If you live in a city that has poor public transit service to it's outlying areas (like Dallas does) people will pay any price for gas just to get around. I know I will. My work commute is 45 minutes by car, or 20 minutes by car and 2 hours by public transit. I'll drive thank you very much. No, rush hour is lighter because there are less people working, so there are less people who need to be on the road at those times. why drive with no destination when you don't have a job?

4. The Housing Market

Sure, we've all heard about the slump in the housing market. More houses are going on the market than before, and there's nobody out there willing to buy. I see more and more for sale signs every week. Not only that, but those signs I do see stay in front of the house longer and longer. Nobody's buying, houses are being foreclosed because people couldn't handle the increase on their ARM mortgage (or lost their job so can't pay it no matter what). In the mean time, home builders are rushing to complete as many spec homes as they can just to try and recoup their costs and stay out of financial trouble. Let's not talk about Bank of America bailing out Countrywide from their mortgage account troubles.

5. Currency Conversions

For as long as I can remember the Canadian Dollar was always less than the US Dollar. My how the mighty have fallen! The conversion between Canadian and US Dollar is right at one to one. I still have British Pounds left over from a trip a while back. I remember getting them at a conversion of $1.50 per Pound. I guess if I ever make it back I'll have made some money on it all because it now takes two Dollars to buy one Pound. Even the Euro is pulling away from the US Dollar at about $1.50 per Euro. Maybe this isn't the year for that European Vacation after all...

6. Thrift Store and Estate Purchases

It used to be if you went to a garage or estate sale that is you saw something you liked, you'd better pick it up and carry it around with you and buy it right then and there. That's not so much the case any more. I still see as many people at the sales, but less and less are walking around with anything in their hands. Even more so, if you saw it for full price on day one, chances are it's still going to be there on day three when everything is 50% off. Nobody's buying like they used to. In the mean time, thrift stores like Goodwill and the Salvation Army are becoming hot beds of aggressive shopping. I've seen actual verbal arguments between people over who had the "right" to be searching through the bins and who was there first. Names have been called over pieces of silver plate flatware, and bad flatware at that.

If these aren't enough signs of us heading towards a recession then I don't know what is. Maybe you should pull your head out of the sand and count how many times the fed has cut the federal funds rates to try and stimulate things and how long things have stayed stimulated after the cut. Pretty soon the DOW will do better on Viagra than the Feds cutting the rates for stimulation.

As a full-time graduate student, I could not afford to donate much to charities or to dedicate much time to volunteer. Therefore, I found some free and easy ways to make a difference. Even if you are already making decent donations or offering your time to volunteer, you can still make more donations with these methods.

They require minimal effort make a huge difference! The best thing is that you simply do what you normally do to make free donations. It's that easy.

Search To Give

Searching is probably what we do mostly on the Internet. If a donation is made for each search, it can really add up! Here are two websites that make donations to good causes every time you search. The source of money is advertising revenue.

• Search Kindly

  SearchKindly is powered by Google, so you get quality results. 100% of the revenue goes to a particular non-profit organization determined by a poll every month. Roughly 1/3 of a cent is raised per search. It sounds like not much, but it can add up.

• Good Search

  GoodSearch gives you the same search results as Yahoo! search. Although they donate only 50% of the revenue, they make about 1 penny per search to the organization you specify. What's better is that you may put your non-profit organization, school, or church on the list after verification. That is what I did for my organization, American Zen Association.

Email To Give

After searching, what we probably do most is sending emails. Here are two free Web based email services that make donations to good causes for each email you send. Just like Hotmail, they both provide junk mail filter and virus scanning. The mailbox size and other detailed features may be different though.

• Care2 email

  Care2 provides a 100MB space and donates 5% of its revenue to environment-related and other good causes. You can choose a number of fun domain names for your email address.

• Planet Save

  Planetsave gives you a 25MB space and donates 25% of the revenue to green causes.

Chat To Give

Do you use instant messenger? The new Windows Live Messenger i'm intiate donates to the organization you support with every instant message you send. Setting up is easy. You just download and install the latest version of Windows Live Messenger and type the text code, corresponding to the organization you choose, on your display name.

Shop To Give

These online stores donate a portion of the sale to charities when you link to the store through one of the websites shown below. Each website has a different store database, proportion for donation, and designated good causes. You get the same product or service and pay the same price, so why not do it through these websites to make a difference? Just go to one of these websites first, link to the online store, and place your order as usual.

• GoodShop

  GoodShop is the other service offered by GoodSearch. When you shop online through the links on GoodShop, an up to 20% of the sale price (proportion varies; 3% in average) donation is made to the organization you support. They have over 300 online stores in their database.

• Care2 Shopping

  Care2 is a comprehensive website offering a number of services, including shopping to make donations. With over 200 online shops, you can buy almost everything and make free donations to environmental causes.

• iGive

  iGive offers a list of 680 stores and up to 26% (proportion varies) of each purchase donated to your cause. Like GoodSearch (GoodShop), you may add the organization you support to their database.

Click To Give

The last way to make free donations requires a little more effort because you need to remember to click. What I do is to set the website as my homepage, so I am reminded to click when I start my browser. Every time you click, the sponsored stores make donations to help different causes specified by the website. Note that only one click counts from a certain computer for each day.

• The Hunger Site Network

  The Hunger Site Network contains six websites that you click a button to feed the hungry, fund free books to kids, or save rainforest land. Clicking to give on this network is my first free donation action. I have been clicking on these websites daily since six years ago. More than 100,000 people click daily on each website in this network.

• Care2 Click To Donate

  Besides email and shopping, Care2 also has a list of websites offering click to give. Most of them are environment related, including global warming and endangered species. However, they also have some causes that help women and children in need.

Now you can make free donations everyday while you surf the Web, send emails, and shop online. Making free donations to good causes is that easy! Spread the word and let more people know how to make a difference on a daily basis simply by doing things they're already doing.