So should this unfortunate situation finds itself in your life what do you do? It is not unusual to experience all the classic grief symptoms-anger, denial, victimization, and so on especially if this was a long-term relationship and/or you had accomplishments on the job that greater benefited the employer. There are things you can do.

First of all, “collect yourself”. When you are in this state of mind you generally are not thinking rationally and good things just have a tendency of avoiding you. Worse yet, even if you get an interview, the emotions just seem to shine through despite your best efforts to conceal them. The most beneficial thing I discovered is what I call a “centering exercise” to truly determine where you are. It works this way. Get to your computer in a word processing program or get a sheet of paper and pen. Then for three minutes type or write whatever words or phases that come to mind. When you are done wait five minutes and review the list. You may find words or phrases like “betrayed”, “unfairness”, and “angry.” At the same time you may find “opportunity”, “challenge”, and “fresh start.” Since this exercise is done in three minutes and there is not time to rationalize our responses, most of them are generated from the subconscious or our “true center.” Once you discover where you truly are then are better prepared to assess your situation to determine next steps.

Next, you have to effectively and efficiently market yourself. Even though you are out of work companies will call you offering help for a fee. Sometimes the fees are reasonable and sometimes they equate to about three mortgage payments. The most important thing is to make sure your resume is updated and reflects your strengths and accomplishments. Where you previously worked and how long you were there now needs to take a back seat to what you have to offer. You will also need to write it in such a way that the screening software used by human resource departments recognizes your industry's buzz words. For instance, if you are looking for something in the non-profit area then incorporate words like “fund-raising” and “grant-writing.” If the area is retail then use words like “big-box” and “flexible”.

Finally you have to persevere. The days will seem long especially if you are getting rejection letter after letter or no responses at all. Patience is of the essence at this point and I have to define it. Patience is not waiting for someone to call or something to happen. Patience is staying after it by making follow up calls, networking, going to job fairs, and employment seminars. It may be beneficial to take an interim job until that opportunity comes. Another option if you can afford it is to do volunteer work at a non-profit, school, church, or civic organization. This helps to keep your mind active and not fall into self-pity. Note that every rejection letter brings you closer to an offer letter. Remain true to yourself and know that the change in the workplace is a sign of the times.

There are generational pressures also in China with young people challenging their older relatives to the point of accusing them of being "old". One can see generational differences when younger family members communicate through chat lines and the older generation only in their forties can't make head or tale of the writing. A Chinese lady friend made a mention of not understanding what her younger relatives are writing on the chat forums or in their emails. When she asked her younger relative, she was challenged with, “Don't you know? All my friends know what it means.” Than she was accused of being too old because she did not understand the new expressions or words that her younger relative was writing.

Younger people who are now targets for recruiters want to make choices that their parents didn't. In a recent report on the new generation hitting the market a couple interviewed on a documentary said that they did not want to make the mistake their parents did about sacrificing their lives for their families. They want to be less pressured at the work place and that could mean "chilled out." That is their way of being less stressed at the work place, they admit. Job recruiters at "Zappatos", a shoe manufacturer, have said that with a dance floor installed at the work place employees are happier. That way they perform better at the work place and are less stressed. Perhaps baby boomers that are still working can learn from an example like this.