Have you ever wondered why counseling an employee is a difficult task! The answer is really simply.

Counseling deals with attitude, feelings and behavior. That is why many managers avoid getting into this sensitive area. They become passive and ignore the problem because they are concerned about the possible unfavorable consequences if they bring up the subject.

Other managers take a completely different approach. They become forceful or aggressive in confronting the subordinate. The result of this confrontation is normally termination of the employee.

As a matter of fact, both actions are destructive. You should avoid these two extremes. What you really need in your counseling session is be an assertive person.

Assertive behavior is active, direct, and honest. It communicates an impression of self respect and respect for others. By being assertive, we view our wants, needs, is as equal to those of others.

We work toward "win-win" outcomes. An assertive person wins by influence, listening, and negotiating so that others choose to cooperate willingly.

This behavior leads to success without retaliation, and encourages open, honest relationships.

Who Needs Counseling?

The employee who needs counseling is normally suffering from either a personal or work- related problem that has a negative impact on this performance. The work- related problem is not a skill gap or lack of knowledge, but rather an ability to cope with the work environment or lack of understanding of what is required from him/her.

The Main Focus

The main focus of counseling is to address a behavior problem. Definitely, the behavior problem will have a negative impact on the employee performance. Therefore, when you succeed in solving the behavior problem, you will be able reach the desired performance.

It is true that counseling is related to psychology; however you do not have to be a psychotherapist to perform counseling session with your employee.

What is really important here is to be able to differentiate between situations which require coaching and those that will need counseling.

In both cases you are not getting the desired performance from the employee. However, asking yourself why the employee is not delivering the required results is very critical. The answer to this question will guide you to which way to take. In other words, you need to find the cause behind the performance problem.

Skill & knowledge should be addressed though coaching while attitude and behavior should adjusted through counseling.

Meantime, you need to be aware that attitude and behavior are interrelated. Negative attitude leads to negative behavior. The interrelation between attitude and behavior is best explained through the iceberg theory. The visible part (20%) is the behavior while undersea portion (80%) is the attitude.

Therefore, we can only see behavior. Observing behavior should be the starting point for any counseling effort.

I'm going to list ten attitude problems that employees can bring to work, and offer some suggestions as to what you can do about them.

1. Those with an antagonistic attitude. This one affects not only employers, but other staff, and even more importantly, the customers. One woman I worked with delighted in biting everyone's head off, answering the phone in an abrupt manner as though she was being interrupted at her "real" work, and playing favourites, so that only those who were really part of her clique got good treatment.
2. The person who'll never take any blame for any mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in a work situation, but the person who always has an excuse and never offers an apology is bad news.
3. The person who complains whenever they're asked to do anything different. As a whining child gets on his or her parents' nerves, these workers get on the nerves of the responsible workers around them.
4. The one who's never motivated to pick up work when they've finished what they're doing. They either lack initiative, or don't care to use it. I remember one man I worked with who would get to the end of his particular tasks around 1 pm, and then would sit there for the rest of the day literally doing nothing.
5. The person who challenges you, not just to your face, but in front of everyone else. The sort of person who's forever trying to get other people on his or her side, who rolls their eyes at anything the boss says, or who drags other workers in for a gossip session about the boss or the management.
6. Those who are never there when the clock hits 8.30. Or who just don't turn up, and require someone to waste time calling them to see where they are. They're particularly irritating when they're not there on a day when they're specifically required. In the end these ones can never be relied on, and consequently they can duck any responsibilities, such as opening up the shop, or coming in early to get special tasks done.
7. Their opposite number is the person who's there on time, but who always insists on leaving on the dot, both at lunchtime or in the evening. They never have time for any last minute jobs, and can never be persuaded to give a minute or two more of their time.
8. The one who has to be supervised at all times - just in case they do something wrong. You know they probably won't but they're "afraid" that they might, and they need you virtually to hold their hand. These are the sort of people whom you sometimes have to teach a task to over and over.
9. The people who are so looking forward to their retirement that they start acting as though they've already retired - while they're still being paid to work. They'll just slip out to do a personal errand, or they'll sit reading the newspaper, or take extra coffee breaks, or make long phone calls - usually about things related to what they're going to do when they're finished in your employ.
10. The ones who bring all their worries to work. Sometimes personal issues do take over, but when it's basic matters that don't affect the job in any way, or things that need to be kept out of the work scene, then these people can be a real time-waster. I worked with someone who was studying at University part-time. She would come to work in tears, because she wasn't sure whether she'd done well in her latest assignment or test. It would take a half an hour or more to calm her down.

What do you do with any of these kinds of employees?

Once it was possible to sack people on the spot in the hope that you'd get someone better to replace them. This is no longer an option for most employers, and dismissing someone can be a time-consuming and stressful task. Badly handled, it can also be expensive.

So what to do?

• Firstly, keep your eyes and ears open. Some employers overlook warning signs until too late, and by then other good staff are handing in their notice.
• Don't get so involved in your own work that you don't keep an eye on what your staff are up to. I worked for a man last year who was filling in until a new supervisor was hired. He chose to ignore the rudeness of one staff member when she contradicted anything he would say, and even though he was aware of the tensions in the office, he failed to act.
• If staff members are expressing concern about any particular person on a regular basis, be proactive. You have to be deaf and blind to miss bad attitudes; most often the fault becomes that of the boss if nothing changes. In the situation mentioned above, it was only when the new supervisor arrived that anything was done, and because the bad situation had been left so long, it took another six months before changes could be made. In the meantime at least two good staff had left, and the office was an extremely unpleasant place to work in.
• Don't react in negative situations. But do act. Don't let staff bully you, or cajole you, or seduce you into their poor attitudes. You're the boss. Act like it.
• In some situations, constructive feedback is required. Start off with the positives, and then bring in the matter that's causing concern. Even staff with poor attitudes often work well in certain areas. Don't forget these when giving feedback.
• Sometimes counselling is appropriate. Sometimes people with bad attitudes need someone to express themselves to, such as a workplace chaplain. Sometimes their behaviour is a way of saying something they can't otherwise say.
• But don't think that's the only approach. In some cases formal disciplinary measures will need to take place. Always, always do this in the presence of an objective witness. When I was first a manager, I chose to try and discuss an employee's work attitudes in private. She turned on me and accused me of all manner of poor behaviours. A few of these were justified; most were not, but neither of us had a witness to the conversation.
• Sometimes an employee needs coaching in a different way of behaving. As the boss you may be the best person to do this, but not necessarily. It may be appropriate to bring in an outsider to do some attitude coaching, or to send the employee off to a related course. Often a person outside the situation can get the message across more clearly.
• Set measurable performance standards amongst your staff. Do this in discussion with them, but don't let them reduce your requirements to their level. Insist, however gently, on improvements.
• Sometimes the only option is to move an employee sideways. This isn't easy, and will require a good deal of negotiation in order not to make it look as though you're getting rid of them, and dumping them on someone else. But the advantage is that in new surroundings they may find their attitude isn't tolerated, they may enjoy the new job more than what they'd been doing (and will get on with it more readily), and the mere fact of being in new surroundings, where they're no longer required to hold the attitudinal position they formally had, may work wonders.
• The worst case scenario is to look at dismissal. This is too complex a matter to go into here, but unless there is no other option, it's something to avoided. Training new staff is always costly, the dismissal process is time-consuming, and it can often leave bruises and scars that will take considerable time to heal. Try alternatives first.

The Definition of Lead

On the other hand, there is nearly an entire column used to define “lead” the transitive verb associated with leadership “to travel, to show the way, or direct the course of, by going along with; conduct; guide... (1980). “Leading” is listed as one of the four functions of management. The four functions are “planning, organizing, leading, and controlling” ((2004). As cited in the text, leading is essential in functioning as an effective manager.

David and Goliath

Amazing stories have stood out in our history lessons spanning the lifetimes of our ancestors and ours depicting various leaders and their selflessness and heroism. These stories continue to motivate and inspire us to achieve greatness. When we think of leaders, we think of David, who as a small lad, stood up against the feared giant, Goliath, and killed him. Although the odds were very much against him, he rose up to the challenge, and conquered the enemy. In one courageous move, he inspired armies to follow him. Had he been a manager and not a leader, would the goal have been accomplished?

Vision

A leader has vision. David envisioned Goliath defeated. In his mind's eye, he saw the victory. A manager, plans things out, and reviews his plans. There is always plan “A” and plan “B” in case plan “A” doesn't work.

He Organizes

It is his job to recruit the type of workforce needed to the job site, and then to specify job duties, allocate resources, and maximize work conditions to achieve the highest level of potential possible (2004).

He Motivates

He must then work closely with his staff in order to teach and motivate them. He needs to be able to not only share his vision, but demonstrate it.

He Leads by Example

This is where his leadership skills come into play. Managers “talk the talk”, but leaders “walk the walk”. Telling staff to be to work at a certain time, when management strolls in at whatever time they feel like, is not demonstrating true leadership. A leader is a part of the team, and as such works side by side with the team members.

Leaders Listen

The leaders communicate, and listen effectively to other staff. They appreciate the input and insight.

Leaders are Flexible

The fourth function of management is controlling. This is used to monitor progress, and implement changes when necessary to be certain that the team is going in the right direction.

When progress is not properly gauged, it becomes impossible to judge whether the goal is being met. While a manager is measuring progress, and making whatever changes need made, a leader is progressing with the team, and can make the changes instantaneously.

Leaders are Observant

Managers have different options in resolving issues, such as progressive discipline: warning, writing up and finally terminating. In the event of terminating staff, they now have to deal with retraining a new staff member, and easing the fears of the remaining staff members, who are wondering if they will be terminated next. Leaders, on the other hand, work closely with their staff, and in doing so, may have seen the issue that needed resolved long ago. Perhaps, it was something that could have been worked out easily, with further instruction, resifting of duties or a rescheduling of hours. If that was the case in resolving the issue beforehand, the fired individual would have become a more loyal and dedicated staff member, who would now be willing to give 100%, and remaining staff would not be working in fear, and would feel renewed dedication to their tasks.

Leaders are Team Players

While working closely with the leader, the team catches his spirit, and comes to work feeling motivated to perform well. Work does not feel like another four letter word, something dreaded, but as an enjoyable task. Attendance will improve, as will work production.

People, who are stressed, have higher overall incidents of illness, which is sometimes created by a stressful work environment. Even healthy people put their health at risk, by being involved in constant conditions of stress, as reported by Jennifer Warner in WebMD. “Studies show people with medical conditions such as heart disease, mental illness, or other chronic diseases are most vulnerable to the negative consequences of stress, but healthy people are also at risk” (2005).She goes on to advise that constant stress can increase the risk of heart attack, stroke, and even death. There are many research studies relating to illness and stress.

Another site describes how a hormone referred to as neuropeptide Y is released by the body during periods of stress. One of the Garvan Institute in Sydney's researchers, Professor Herzog, stated “And it's known for example that it (neuropeptide Y) regulates blood pressure and heart rates so your heart rates go up... Now we have proven without doubt that there is a direct link and that stress can weaken the immune system that makes you more vulnerable when you for example have a cold or flu and even the more serious situations such as cancer can be enhanced in these situations” (2005).

Leaders Care

This is another compelling reason to enlist true leaders, as managers in an organization. Leaders embody compassion, and instill vision. Leaders are highly motivated, have a basic knowledge of the job that needs to be done and the requirements needed to perform that job. A leader can draw on experience, or knows how to tap into the knowledge needed to perform the assignment. He or she has enthusiasm and drive. A manager might instruct staff to do an assignment, but a leader knows how to do that assignment, and leads by example. A leader would not ask you to do something unethical, or unfair, because they have your best interest at heart, and that of the organization. When staff's interests are overlooked in order to achieve a goal, the goal becomes skewed.

Leaders Train Leaders

A goal must be a worthy mission, and staff will unite to pursue the goal, when lead by a leader, a leader who bears in mind the cost and the prize. If the cost is too high for just one member, the team is unable to perform as well as it could. The prize is all the more glorious, when each member has followed their leader to the finish line, and received the trophy. Up from the ranks, new leaders will emerge, to replace the existing leader, not from confrontations, but because the leader has successfully challenged and taught. The current leader may feel the need to involve their selves with an even greater challenge, as they move up the corporate ladder or endeavor to change career paths.